Andy warhol...if you do not know who he is than you are sadly deprived.
he's a creative genius during the height of the pop art scene.....
and from my understanding he was a completely off his rocker...but what creative genius isn't
There is certainly a fine line between being clinically insane and some sort of super creative genius....
And he flirted with that fine line....
and thats why i love him....

so....
heres some quotes by my favorite modern artist...

"An artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he - for some reason - thinks it would be a good idea to give them. "

Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there - I always suspected that I was watching TV instead of living life. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television.

Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.

Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.

Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.

I always wished I had died, and I still wish that, because I could have gotten the whole thing over with

I am a deeply superficial person.

I had a lot of dates but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows.

Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.

I love him, I worship him. I masturbate to Duran Duran videos.

I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic.

I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.

I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting money.

I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.

I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is "In 15 minutes everybody will be famous."

It would be very glamorous to be reincarnated as a great big ring on Liz Taylor's finger.

Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets.

What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest.

hello.

it has been a long time. I am no good at this shit anymore, which i am not sure is necissarily a bad thing.

Anyway.. Well i thought my heart was broken, or something before. I was wrong, and deep inside at that point i am sure i knew i was just being dramatic, and was hoping it was something better than it was, but in reality i knew from the get go that it was a mistake. a thing that was never going to last, and just be a general pain in the ass (which is an understatement for how i really feel about the whole situation now)

NOW....
I don't even know anymore. I really don't care, I am not putting myself out there anymore really, because I am over looking for someone i can care about, and be cared for in return. I just have to let it go and realize its out of my hands. Roll with the punches so to speak. I'd like to say i fully embrace that but i would definatly be lying if i did. I am sitting, waiting, hoping, wishing...you know all that bullshit because there is always somebody who crosses your path and shakes whatever deal you have going up.  It is completely annoying but exciting. . . unless you are me, and you get your hopes up easily.... I try not to anymore. i put my hopes too high up and they come crashing and shattering down right before my feet leaving me sad and confused....I do it to myself EVERYTIME

now spewing of into randomness...
"Actions speak louder than words"
This phrase has always been said to me as a kid... and i was like yeah bullshit....but it's true so so true...You can express so much without saying a word, by a look you give someone, the way you breathe around them....or just the way you carry yourself around someone.... you can show someone more love than you can ever express through words, by touching someone or a look you can give them (ACTIONS)......words tend to get in the way sometime, words are messy, and sometimes are mistaken- or are said wrong, words can hurt and be twisted and manipulated into things they never were meant to be....but expressing yourself, body language- there is no mistaking that.....at all....

ahh anyway its late, i am rambling, hoping that by my mindless spewing of words i would make sense of all the confusion in my head, clear it out so to speak. But no such luck. I will sleep on it....

much love
lou

     
     what hurts is when you think somebody cares, and you think you can trust them never to make you sad, and they do. And the worse part about it is they don't really comprehend that they are hurting you. Like having someone slowly push a knife into your chest and then slowly rotating it inside of you, slow and constant increasing pain....
      
     It also hurts when about someone so much your heart feels like it might explode, and knowing that they don't give to shits about you...it's easy to pretend and ignore it, think they care and love you but really its all just a big lie and you can't let go of the hope that maybe someday they will care about you.....but in reality...it's not going to happen... It's not fun to feel unloved and go to sleep at night, but that sums up all my past relationships.....and discourages me to even bother to try again...
     
     Having friends who really are not friends, who pretend, and are unable to  see beyond their own selfish perspective. Egotistical people who don't care.. Im over it, which is easy to say, but really Its Killing me.....
     
     I am over feeling like I am giving a piece of myself to each person who means something to me...slowly but surely I'm loosing grip on myself.. Its getting harder for me to hold it together anymore, and to pretend to be happy and smile and just go along with it anymore, I want to cry, I don't feel like I'm meeting anyone genuine or worth my time, everyone hurts me, and it is so frusturating, I suppose that I'm let down easily..haha it would be better for me to live the life of a hermit, or out in the mountains by myself so that there is no possibility for me to be hurt by stupid fuckers because they won't be around....

    Sometimes It seems like life isnt worth the hassle..its easy to want to give up and say fuck everyone else, and just be selfish, but at the same time we got to make it through lifes challeges to live and grow as a person...but I'm tired, and don't want to go on...because there is no promise of a glorious finale or the grand prize....just the hope...and frankly at this point  that isnt enough for me.
     

wellllllllllll fuuuck where do I start?

1) Ive been doing wonderfully with the no drinking and that makes me proud of myself. I have been intoxicated three times since new years (thats three times in four months)..... once was when my best friend kept buying me drinks to celebrate his NEW clean bill of health (no mas surgery! yay!) the second was st pattys day and the thrid was my birthday...... Now this no drinking bit is sort of biting me in the ass because when I do drink I get drunk faster, and tend to act a lot more insane than before...Makes no sense...haha nothing I regret really..just things I kind of smack myself in the head and go " 'doh " about...homer simpson style..oh wellll

2) Ive learned who my friends are really, people I thought were my true friends Im slowly finding out are not....surprise surprise, sort of....I've been good at burning bridges lately, I don't know what my deal is...and  I've also found I am not afraid to express my harsh and bitter jaded feelings about things and people anymore.. If I said it I'll admitt it to you if I didn't already say it directly to you're mother fuckin face..... Also Myspace drama, people who START shit on myspace ARE LAME!....grow some balls...and if you can't at least use the phone..come on don't hide behind a screen...lol.....

3) my friend sjana had her baby girl today. It was the most beautiful thing to see sjana's face while she was holding little myra and just looking at her little feet and body....you could see the love in the room, and it was intense....all because of this tiny new little human being. I'm so happy she called me to go up there with Erica, eventhough we had to drive for what seemed like forever I would do it again in a heart beat.  Eventhough we were just waiting and there for her it was one of the most emotionally draining experiances ever (but not in a bad way)....except for now I feel uuber sensitve and just extreemly irritated...bleh

anyway  I am finished rambeling..im frustrated, and irritated...Im going to try and sleep now so this mood doesn't follow me into the moring...
xoxoxo

as of the morning of jan 1st..lol i quit drinking hard alcohol...beer and wuss drinks for me from now on bc im not a HUGE fan...and i need to stop drinking as much. so there. . . considering my family genetics/background its going to be hard. us irish take to whiskey like fish to water. i can do it though

grrrrr hey it feels like i got sucker punched....lol an emotional sucker punch belive me i rathered be actually punched in the face...i need a fucking drink..or 8

so, today I paid a visit to the old slobc. and it was fun at first, I got a claddagh ring...and that made me very happy. I saw old friends and that was wonderful. what made me sad is hearing rumors about people that I thought were my friends... people stabbing me in the back, and hiding things form me..and not telling me the truth about situations. it's hurtfull and makes me sad. I think if people were honest with me I wouldnt be as hurt. I don't know it's just sad for me..oh poor Lou..I feel like I'm whining too much. I know things definately could be A LOT worse..and this means that nothing was ment to happen.. I'm trying not to be passive aggressive or say things that I'm going to regret, for once trying to be the bigger person, and it is hard. AHHH! I'll pray for the strengh to be the bigger person.

i am frusturated that i cannot figure out this layout bullshit. i did it on myspace..how is this so much harder? any help would be fabulous
<3

first entry, i long ago gave up on livejournal. oh well i keep coming back.
I saw Erica today, we had coffee..saw some people I didnt really remember were alive, and saw some people ive missed dearly. Also met some new people..haha scooby had a blast with Erica's mom, she dogsat scooby, and he demolished three tennis balls..viscious little weenie he is.

anywho i know its random but before i forget...snoop D-O-Double G was arrested AGAIN...this time for having a gun, weed, and coke..shit son...and the gotti kid was too ahaha

bed time<3